I felt the need to title this blog with my numbers as I haven't been recording them on here as of late. I also haven't been as on top of this blog as I would like. That's ok though. I've actually really started to notice that my top half is toning up so I've been trying to push myself more... and that extra push has tired this poor lady out.
Which brings me to the theme of this entry.
Budgeting.
Not just for bank accounts people!
No. Budgeting is something I really want to work on in all aspects of my life. A little measure system to keep track of me, my progress, my energy, my food, my banking... my... life essentially.
Budgeting is something I need to do in my own brain space to divide it into sections so that I can make a little brain shaped pie chart into what matters - how much I need to worry about it... and so on. I need to budget fun, reality, work ethic... passion and love into there. I need to make sure I pick up a new play and read it and learn a monologue - JUST for fun to hone my craft and keep it up so that when I get an audition... it's already work that is budgeted into my life... so extra worry isn't exerted unnecessarily. If something throws off my little balance system now EVERYTHING seems to go out of wack. I get mad at CN (sorry love) I get grumpy at work.. and I feel like a failure - alllll because one measly little thing didn't fit into my life budget. I want to work on that and be more easy going.
If we're really talking numbers wise. I need to reel in my habits. Granted - that whole car situation did not treat my poor visa card well. It's racked up a fair amount of evil debt that really wears a poor girl down. I want to be able to be in control of my Visa by spring. I think that is a fair goal. To do this I need to put a fair chunk of change towards my good friend Visa every (little itty bitty) paycheck. I can't rely on the money I'm supposed to get back from my car insurance agency - as I have no idea if or when that's actually coming. Yes - my case was dropped and my license will be cleared. However... it's been 10 days and my license still has the ticket on it... so i'm still throwing money into my savings State Farm pot (479.00 people) until this all goes away. I've thrown over 2 grand into that stupid car... over this stupid ticket.. and I want it to die. I want it to go away and never come back. I want to have that money back... and get back in control of my life. Capishe? Rawr. Anyway... as I said... I don't know when that will come to me. Sooooooooooo here's to being responsible and hey - if and when that cheque arrives... hello Mexico.
Gym wise. I talked about head wars.. and those are still happening. It's natural for me to get a little rough on myself if I neglect the gym. So... i reckon if I aim for 3 gym sessions a week... then that's fair. I have been consistently hitting the gym 3-4 times a week since the end of October - so I know that that is a goal I can keep. I would like to gain some distance and run further in my hour runs. This is a better goal for me then trying to push for more gym time. It's not how many hours I rack up - it's how effectively I use those hours I have. Quality over quantity.
Love wise. Friend wise... Family... I'm happy. I'm happy to be spending Christmas in Toronto with my love. A part of me will be a little bummed Christmas morning knowing my fam is together without me... but you know what? Life involves changes... and changes are exciting! I'm making my own family. My Toronto family. My own roots. Those are just as important if not more so.
Laaa ddeeee daaa... sooo with that ladies and gents... I'm out! Hopefully not for long. I plan on budgeting more time into my life to blaaaaahhhhhg it out.
Happy ho ho!
A
Friday, December 17, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Head wars.
I got a little busy this week. So busy in fact that I only really got in three good workouts - Sunday run, Wednesday run and Thursday bootcamp class. I also did a pilates ball workout on my own at home on Monday. Anyway... today I work at 1 and I woke up at 10 with full intentions of hitting the gym. But I haven't gone yet and I realized that I'm getting a little maniacal about the gym and I have to start being reallllly careful about what headspace I get into. I can get into a pretty dark place where I start kicking my own butt in my head about not being good enough.
I've been in this place before.... I start working out... and then to get results I start eating less. During a run of Oklahoma a few years ago - I was working out, drinking one coffee in the morning... eat a handful of almonds - then not eating again till the show where I had an Ice Cap from Tim Hortons as a dinner... and whatever else. It was bad and I was getting pretty svelte - but not for good reasons. But the control I had felt good, it felt like if nothing else at least I could control something. I do understand this was not healthy. There was other emotional baggage going on during that show that fed into me becoming a little crazy... but regardless... I don't really ever want to be in that place again.
Yes - i do want to be svelte. Yes.. I am starting to tone up quite nicely. But now, I'm freaking out that if I take a day off that I'm going to lose all of the results I've starting having.
I have good reason to take the morning off today. Monday - my day off from Starbucks - has turned into a busy day. I have an audition, then I have some training for a Heart and Stroke gig I'm doing on the weekend.. and then I have my second court date for my awesome speeding ticket (for going 5km over the limit). It's a busy day. I jut got wind of the audition yesterday ... so I'd like to prepare for it. Prepare by going t staples and printing off some glossy new headshots and crisp new resumes ... maybe buying a stapler to staple it all together nicely... and Id like to photocopy my music too! I think that would be quite useful. But here I am beating myself up over NOT going to the gym.
My monsters and I.
That would be a decent name for a song.
Maybe I should write again.
Annnnyyyway... I'm not working out this morning as I have other things to do - and because I didn't work out yesterday... i'm kind of frustrated with myself... and because I realize I'm frustrated with myself over dumb reasons - I get even more frustrated with myself.
Lame right?
Anyway.
I'm still on track.. just a little under the weather.
I've been in this place before.... I start working out... and then to get results I start eating less. During a run of Oklahoma a few years ago - I was working out, drinking one coffee in the morning... eat a handful of almonds - then not eating again till the show where I had an Ice Cap from Tim Hortons as a dinner... and whatever else. It was bad and I was getting pretty svelte - but not for good reasons. But the control I had felt good, it felt like if nothing else at least I could control something. I do understand this was not healthy. There was other emotional baggage going on during that show that fed into me becoming a little crazy... but regardless... I don't really ever want to be in that place again.
Yes - i do want to be svelte. Yes.. I am starting to tone up quite nicely. But now, I'm freaking out that if I take a day off that I'm going to lose all of the results I've starting having.
I have good reason to take the morning off today. Monday - my day off from Starbucks - has turned into a busy day. I have an audition, then I have some training for a Heart and Stroke gig I'm doing on the weekend.. and then I have my second court date for my awesome speeding ticket (for going 5km over the limit). It's a busy day. I jut got wind of the audition yesterday ... so I'd like to prepare for it. Prepare by going t staples and printing off some glossy new headshots and crisp new resumes ... maybe buying a stapler to staple it all together nicely... and Id like to photocopy my music too! I think that would be quite useful. But here I am beating myself up over NOT going to the gym.
My monsters and I.
That would be a decent name for a song.
Maybe I should write again.
Annnnyyyway... I'm not working out this morning as I have other things to do - and because I didn't work out yesterday... i'm kind of frustrated with myself... and because I realize I'm frustrated with myself over dumb reasons - I get even more frustrated with myself.
Lame right?
Anyway.
I'm still on track.. just a little under the weather.
Monday, November 29, 2010
I'm a liar!
I said I would post a picture this week - but I didn't. I DID run every time I planned to - and I ran hard - but I am a cranky lady this week and so I feel like a picture shall wait until certain things pass.
....
I switched pills. (you may stop reading if you feel like this is a TMI).
I switched back to Yasmin from Yaz... and.. hello PMS.. i forgot what you were like.
I'm a bitch!!!!
And it is not delightful - ergo. No picture. Ok? Ok.
I'm glad we had this coversation.
Side note - I've racked up 20 more km - and 4 more hours of running this past week... and i now own a beautiful blue pilates ball. It is glorious and I used it in my living room tonight. CN can attest that I looked a bit like a fool rolling around doing all sorts of balancey things trying the ball out.
CIAO FOR NOW
....
I switched pills. (you may stop reading if you feel like this is a TMI).
I switched back to Yasmin from Yaz... and.. hello PMS.. i forgot what you were like.
I'm a bitch!!!!
And it is not delightful - ergo. No picture. Ok? Ok.
I'm glad we had this coversation.
Side note - I've racked up 20 more km - and 4 more hours of running this past week... and i now own a beautiful blue pilates ball. It is glorious and I used it in my living room tonight. CN can attest that I looked a bit like a fool rolling around doing all sorts of balancey things trying the ball out.
CIAO FOR NOW
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Sunday Night Football
It's funny how when you don't typically watch or care about certain things - like the CFL.... that all of a sudden you can get SUPER invested in one game.
Today - that game was the Stamps vs the Roughriders - the Western Final. The Stamps lost in the frozen wasteland of McMahon Stadium in Calgary - and I was choked. Absolutely choked. For the team, for the fans... and for the fact that they put their butts on that ice cube of a field and unfortunately - froze. So after that upset... we switch channels and watch the Flames take on the Redwings. 4-1 flames. THEN all of a sudden it's 4-2... 4-3... then with 3 seconds to go the Redwinds score and tie it forcing overtime and BAM the Flames lose too. What a poopy day for Calgary sports! C'est la vie.
Running wise, I'm doing well. I am running hard and consistently. 4 times a week with a pilates class at some point and my at home pilates dvd on non gym days. My mind isn't so great though. At this point I'm wanting to see results. I'm feeling a bit chunky... and I wanted to start feeling a little bit more slender at this point. I'm over a month in on this challenge - and granted - it isn't totally about the weight loss. I do want this for my body's own good. I want to be fit. I want to be able to push my own limits. I wanted to be able to run for an hour without stopping... and I can now! Now I want to be able to run for two hours without stopping... and hopefully fast enough so that I can complete a half marathon within the boundaries of 2 ish hours. I guess the tough part is keeping up my motivation to see the results.
Some things that may help...
Drinking more water. Keeping a water bottle on me in my purse at work so when I go to the back I can take a nice long swig of water... never fully letting myself get thirsty.
Eating less Starbuck food. I try to watch what I eat at work... but I'm bad every so often.. and frankly - i want to cut out work food all together. It's pre frozen... calorie packed... bombs that do not need to enter my system. Stupid delicious gingerbread biscotti. I shake my fist at you and your awesomeness.
Having my work beverages be of the coffee/tea variety and not of the milk based variety. I'm really enjoying matcha mixed with hot water. It gets me going and it tastes pretty good. Also... it's pretty good for me.. so I may rock that drink for awhile and see where it takes me.
Throwing my body off. I think my body is starting to get used to the running... so I need to challenge it and maybe throw in rowing for 10 minutes at it... or doing some hills... biking... maybe I'll put some spinning back into my schedule. One class a week won't bulk up my legs too too much. (BREANNA... get on that membership and let's be spinning buddies again!)
Anyway. I guess my morale is a bit low today. I have accomplished more than I already thought possible... and I think to see changes I will have to take it to the next level. Starting with a lovely gym sesh tomorrow night! Running and pilates anyone?!
Ta!
19 hours. (PIC COMING UP THIS WEEK!! AHH!!) 106 km! (.. whoa) ... and low team morale!
Today - that game was the Stamps vs the Roughriders - the Western Final. The Stamps lost in the frozen wasteland of McMahon Stadium in Calgary - and I was choked. Absolutely choked. For the team, for the fans... and for the fact that they put their butts on that ice cube of a field and unfortunately - froze. So after that upset... we switch channels and watch the Flames take on the Redwings. 4-1 flames. THEN all of a sudden it's 4-2... 4-3... then with 3 seconds to go the Redwinds score and tie it forcing overtime and BAM the Flames lose too. What a poopy day for Calgary sports! C'est la vie.
Running wise, I'm doing well. I am running hard and consistently. 4 times a week with a pilates class at some point and my at home pilates dvd on non gym days. My mind isn't so great though. At this point I'm wanting to see results. I'm feeling a bit chunky... and I wanted to start feeling a little bit more slender at this point. I'm over a month in on this challenge - and granted - it isn't totally about the weight loss. I do want this for my body's own good. I want to be fit. I want to be able to push my own limits. I wanted to be able to run for an hour without stopping... and I can now! Now I want to be able to run for two hours without stopping... and hopefully fast enough so that I can complete a half marathon within the boundaries of 2 ish hours. I guess the tough part is keeping up my motivation to see the results.
Some things that may help...
Drinking more water. Keeping a water bottle on me in my purse at work so when I go to the back I can take a nice long swig of water... never fully letting myself get thirsty.
Eating less Starbuck food. I try to watch what I eat at work... but I'm bad every so often.. and frankly - i want to cut out work food all together. It's pre frozen... calorie packed... bombs that do not need to enter my system. Stupid delicious gingerbread biscotti. I shake my fist at you and your awesomeness.
Having my work beverages be of the coffee/tea variety and not of the milk based variety. I'm really enjoying matcha mixed with hot water. It gets me going and it tastes pretty good. Also... it's pretty good for me.. so I may rock that drink for awhile and see where it takes me.
Throwing my body off. I think my body is starting to get used to the running... so I need to challenge it and maybe throw in rowing for 10 minutes at it... or doing some hills... biking... maybe I'll put some spinning back into my schedule. One class a week won't bulk up my legs too too much. (BREANNA... get on that membership and let's be spinning buddies again!)
Anyway. I guess my morale is a bit low today. I have accomplished more than I already thought possible... and I think to see changes I will have to take it to the next level. Starting with a lovely gym sesh tomorrow night! Running and pilates anyone?!
Ta!
19 hours. (PIC COMING UP THIS WEEK!! AHH!!) 106 km! (.. whoa) ... and low team morale!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Article.
http://jezebel.com/5689226/a-call-to-arms-and-abs-quads-calves-and-shoulders
I love this article. It got me all ready to kick some ass.
Ran today for an hour after being pretty much pooped. So in order to overdo it - I biked 20 mins after the run. Why not right? Tomorrow is Pilates and Yoga Night!!!
15 hours. 86 km. I'm sleepy.
I love this article. It got me all ready to kick some ass.
Ran today for an hour after being pretty much pooped. So in order to overdo it - I biked 20 mins after the run. Why not right? Tomorrow is Pilates and Yoga Night!!!
15 hours. 86 km. I'm sleepy.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Idol Love
Ok... so I have a crush on Carrie Underwood's voice AND Kelly Clarkson (KC i've loved since the original airing of 'Idol'.... including From Justin to Kelly.) It makes me miss singing. It makes me want to have a voice transplant - until I start singing and realize that I am quite capable of carrying a pretty tune. They inspire me. What other women inspire me? Ok... let's just debrief...
Kelly Clarkson.
I adore her because she stays true to herself, can sing the shit out of EVERYTHING, her belt.. Gah, she's gorgeous - no matter her size. She may not be a great actor (From Justin To Kelly... ouch). But she's definitely someone I look up to as a person and singer.
Carrie Underwood.
Just a little dumpling of blonde cuteness. How can one not love her? Physically - she is stupid inspiring... she works her ass off to stay in shape. Her legs make me want to do lunges from Toronto to Calgary and back. And her wedding pictures? If you haven't seen them - googles them NOW and enter the little girl fantasy grown up into this whimsical country love affair fairytale. She's who I wanted to be when i was little. Will we see a Carrie Underwood sex tape? No. She's a role model and I kinda like that.
Crystal Renn.
Straight size model who was in a whirlwind of eating disorders until she listened to her heart and body and ate - becoming the most successful plus size model EVER. She's hot! She makes me feel like buying a size Large isn't the end of the world! She is voluptuous (a word that actually I hate - but see its beauty in her). She makes all the nonsense in my head so relatable. Her book 'Hungry' saved me. It saved me from hating myself... I know that's a big thing to say - but it's true.
Marilyn Monroe.
Size 14. Sex icon. Real name? Norma Jean. My Granny on my Dad's size = Norma. Granny on Mom's side = Jean. Coincidence? I think not. Bwa ha!
And that folks are the people who are inspiring me today. There are so many other powerful, beautiful women out there.. but those are the ones on my mind today. I guess it's because I've been feeling tubby... and these women make me feel like I fit in. They make the things I don't really love about me really gorgeous.... they are my curvy club.
12 and a half hours. ......... I cant think of the km right now. AND I HAVE A CUT ON MY BABY TOE!!! Tragedy.
Thought of the day. Amount of minutes run - or distance covered. What is more important to losing weight?
A
Kelly Clarkson.
I adore her because she stays true to herself, can sing the shit out of EVERYTHING, her belt.. Gah, she's gorgeous - no matter her size. She may not be a great actor (From Justin To Kelly... ouch). But she's definitely someone I look up to as a person and singer.
Carrie Underwood.
Just a little dumpling of blonde cuteness. How can one not love her? Physically - she is stupid inspiring... she works her ass off to stay in shape. Her legs make me want to do lunges from Toronto to Calgary and back. And her wedding pictures? If you haven't seen them - googles them NOW and enter the little girl fantasy grown up into this whimsical country love affair fairytale. She's who I wanted to be when i was little. Will we see a Carrie Underwood sex tape? No. She's a role model and I kinda like that.
Crystal Renn.
Straight size model who was in a whirlwind of eating disorders until she listened to her heart and body and ate - becoming the most successful plus size model EVER. She's hot! She makes me feel like buying a size Large isn't the end of the world! She is voluptuous (a word that actually I hate - but see its beauty in her). She makes all the nonsense in my head so relatable. Her book 'Hungry' saved me. It saved me from hating myself... I know that's a big thing to say - but it's true.
Marilyn Monroe.
Size 14. Sex icon. Real name? Norma Jean. My Granny on my Dad's size = Norma. Granny on Mom's side = Jean. Coincidence? I think not. Bwa ha!
And that folks are the people who are inspiring me today. There are so many other powerful, beautiful women out there.. but those are the ones on my mind today. I guess it's because I've been feeling tubby... and these women make me feel like I fit in. They make the things I don't really love about me really gorgeous.... they are my curvy club.
12 and a half hours. ......... I cant think of the km right now. AND I HAVE A CUT ON MY BABY TOE!!! Tragedy.
Thought of the day. Amount of minutes run - or distance covered. What is more important to losing weight?
A
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