Postponing

It's official.  I will not be running my half as planned on May 15th.  I will however enlist in some Running Room training times and get my 21km run in October!!  This past month has really just knocked me out physically.

I've been getting back into the gym.  Not that I spent very long away from it - but when a girl is used to hitting the gym every other day for almost a year - missing it for almost a week is awful!  I've since run a couple of times and hit my epic ass kickings of all ass kickings - the self named spinlates doosey.

Another thing that needs to be said... is that the running was very much inspired by CN.  He stands by it being the best weight loss tool - and yes I have lost weight... but I am finding myself kind of rebelling against running for the time being.  A work out is a work out.  If you are working hard, your heart is beating and your body is sweating - then you are doing good things for yourself.

Spinlates is when I go to an hour spinning class followed by Pilates class.  It's KILLER.  You work your ass off in both.  And spinning makes me not think about time.  I don't fixate on how much longer is left in the class - i have fun.  I listen to the beat of the music and pound it out.  And sweatwise?  I am a hot mess.  Then going immediately to a Pilates class that is focusing on killing my abs really helps me to work everything.  

Speaking of hot messes... this past week has been a little tough.  I've started to feel really alone - which makes sense considering I ended a 2 and a half year partnership of not aloneness.  Now it's just me.  It is hard to let that sink in and stomach it.  In fact... I haven't reaaallly been able to handle a lot of food over the past week and a bit.   My appetite is shot.  This is another reason I can't see myself doing the half on the 15th.  I'm starting to really abuse myself with eating.  I realize that this is an issue.  It's weird when you don't eat because you're not hungry... and then consciously not eat because you're addicted to the feeling of an empty stomach.  It's a really sick feeling of control.   Should I have chosen to attempt the half, in all seriousness - I fear I would have passed out along the route.  Don't worry... I'm not going to let this go on and have it turn into some full blown eating disorder.  The fact that I know what I'm technically doing is a good first step to not letting it go further.   To combat it, I am packing up a nice healthy dinner to bring to work tonight.

Anyway.  This isn't that exciting of a post but I do hope it was enjoyable in some sense.

Ta!